You know, shes just going to keep breaking your heart Anastasia. I think that perhaps it is time to move on honey.
Yeah Eva, I guess you are right. Theres no chance that I can be with her, and it is just going to keep reducing me to tears, my voice was soft in the thin, cool night air. We sat in the dark in my car in front of St. Marys cathedral at midnight. The sandstone cathedral was beautifully lit up by amber lights, illuminating its soft orange against the dark velvet of the night sky.
No, honey, I know that I am right, I know that youve been through this before, and look at what it did to you. It just fucked you up, I wasnt around then, but I dont want to see you go through it again.
I looked over at her small stature, sitting in the passenger seat of my 1990 BMW. Her eyes locked on to mine, like a heat seeking missile, she placed her hand on my leg as tears welled in my eyes.
Dont cry honey, really, shes not worth it.
I wanted to say that I loved her, but I was wary about that word. I had been in love with a straight woman before, and all I got was heart ache, I did not want to go back there again. It hurt far too much.
I dont care what you are about to say Ana, she isnt worth it, ok.
I know, but, well, tears were falling freely down my face now. Maybe it would help if I had someone to move on too, someone else that could take up my spare time, so that I am not sitting on my fucking ass in front of the computer all day with word open, churning out story after fucking story about her and I getting it on. Evas grip tightened on my thigh.
I had not known Eva very long, just a few weeks. We met at uni just a few weeks prior. We hit it off really well, like a moth to a light. I was fascinated by her, and everything about her. She is only two years older then I am, but it feels like we are the same age, and everything that I have been through she understands, having had similar experiences herself. I was very attracted to Eva and was silently hoping, as she gripped my leg in this brief moment of silence that she would be the one to distract me from my straight lady crush.
I can see how that would help, but have you considered that sitting on your ass all day writing stories is not helping you at all with this.
Yes, I did, and I did stop for a while, but then I just had a really bad day and had to write, and it was different, I wrote it from a different place, and it wasnt about fucking her, it was about the pain of not being able to touch her, the pain of wanting her so much and her having no idea. Until she got it out of me and it ended with her wiping away my tears. I couldnt go on from there; I didnt know where to go from there.
You really do write about your life, dont you? Eva smiled
Yes, I smiled faintly back.
Honey, you really shouldnt cry, she wiped away a tear that had just spilled out of my eye. I know that you really like her, and I know that in a way you want to cling to this, hoping that there is a slight chance despite that it is so remote but honey, shes straight. Im sorry, but she doesnt want you.
I know, another tear escaped, Eva brushed it away too, leaving her hand on my face.
I know that it hurts you to hear this, but you need to face up to it.
I nodded, unable to speak, because if I did it would result in a flood of tears. Tears that I did not want to shed, not more tears over a straight woman. I have been in this place for far too long.
I placed my hand on Evas hand on my leg. I closed my eyes momentarily, trying to compose myself and stop crying. When I opened my eyes my vision was filled with Evas face, not the cathedral, as it was before. Eva had shifted in her seat, facing me now. I was suddenly aware of how close her lips were to mine, how close her hand had come to my groin, of how that made me feel.
Eva leaned in, closing the distance between our lips, placing a gentle kiss, then drawing back to look into my eyes, as if asking if this was ok. I licked my lips, tasting her strawberry lip gloss; I closed my eyes and breathed in, her scent filling my lungs. I let out a little delighted sigh, I opened my eyes again to see her again closing the distance between her lips and mine. I reached and cupped the back of her neck, turning my shoulders to face her. Eva shifted again, trying to find a comfortable position; she pulled away from me, looking out the window behind me. A devilish look grew on her face.
Get out, she demanded, reaching over and opening my door, pushing me out. I got out and stood in the street. I turned to see her climbing out the same door, her shirt falling open, I saw straight down, her bra was black and lacy. She grabbed the keys from the ignition and locked the car; taking my hand she led me across the street into the open park. She headed for a dark spot under a tree on the parks perimeter. She stopped on the slope, turning to face me, her shorter frame even smaller now.
Come here, she grabbed my shirt and spun me around, so that I was lower down the embankment then she was. She kissed me, thrusting her tongue deep into my mouth, her hands making their way under my shirt, my hands on her hips to steady myself. Her scent filled my lungs again, making me dizzy with excitement.
Having a little trouble standing? she asked, her tongue dancing on my ear.
Let me help you with that, she whispered, her breath rushing warmly over my ear. She sat on the slope, her back to the cathedral; I took a second to have one last look at it, looming up from the shadows into the night. Get your sexy self down here, before I do this without you, she chuckled, reaching up to grab my shirt she pulled me towards her, laying back as she did so. I steadied myself over her, my thigh pressing into apex. She cupped my head in both her hands, pulling me in to kiss me again. Her right hand moving down to my shoulder, then around under my right arm and across my back.
Closer, she whispered, pulling my weight onto her, my thigh still pressed to her, she moved her hips, pushing herself harder onto my leg. Her left hand moved to my breast, massaging me through the material of my shirt and bra. I moved my right hand to her hips, moving the elastic waist band of her skirt, permitting myself entry, I then slipped my hand over her clitoris, down between her legs, she gasped as I did so. My hand began moving to the same rhythm of her hand, her hips beginning to move slightly.
Eva flipped me onto my back, unbuttoning my white shirt, kissing a trail from my collar bones to my belt buckle.
I love this buckle, Eva smiled up at me.
You and a lot of other people, I smiled. I was wearing a large silver buckle that had the silhouette of a naked lady on it, a lot of men liked it, but a lot of women did too, and not just lesbians.
Ill bet, she said, unzipping my pants. Oh, I so love you right now, I looked at her quizzically. You arent wearing any underwear, Eva grinned.
Oh, yeah, I smiled.
Eva placed her hand firmly on my apex, causing me to gasp. She smiled as she kissed her way back up my stomach, over my breast to my mouth. Eva began to kiss me, her right hand pulsing at my sex as she did so. Slipping fingers inside me her hips matched the movements of her hand.
Touch me Ana, oh dear god, touch me, Eva pleaded.
I pushed my right hand into her underwear, finding that she was wet I slipped inside; she sat up, straddling my hips. My orgasm came hard and fast. Eva withdrew from me and I sat up, wrapping my left arm about her. She clung to me, dipping her head to my shoulder. Her breaths grew shorter, sharper, she sunk nails and teeth into my flesh, screaming into my skin and it prickled up. Her orgasm making her shake as it peaked, Eva collapsed onto me, I drew my hand from between us, wrapping it about her too and laid back on the ground.
Ive wanted to do that since we met, I confessed quietly to the night.
Me too, Eva returned. That was fucking awesome.
Yes, yes it was.
There was a moments silence.
Are you tired? I asked.
Come on; let me take you home then.
No, please dont, I dont want to go there, not right now.
My house then, I said as I sat up.
Sure, I helped Eva to her feet.
Eva fell asleep in the car on the way home, I gently picked her up out of the car seat, closing the door with my foot, I walked out of the garage into the house. I carried her to my queen sized bed, taking off her clothes, leaving her in her underwear. I got into my pyjamas and curled up beside her. She rolled to me and wrapped about me. I was soon asleep as well.